Twenty Signs You Watch too Much Television

You find yourself wondering if your best friend is a Cylon

You watch your doctor carefully for signs of Vicodin pill-popping, a sign of true genius. If you go to the hospital, meanwhile, you loudly demand a consult from Dr. House.

If seeking a lawyer, you find yourself scanning the law section of your yellow pages for Wolfram & Hart

You've tried to pick someone up by giving them a seductive grin and a smooth "how YOU doin'?"

You watch the news about the latest terror threat, and can't help but think that Jack Bauer would have things cleaned up in less than a day...

You encounter a tough puzzle or question and wonder what Ken Jennings's answer would be

You've watched so much Iron Chef America and Top Chef that you start critiquing your favorite restaurant's 'plating' and 'presentation'

Thanks to your addiction to "Ugly Betty" and "Project Runway," you've started using terms like "swag," "fashionista," and "matchy-matchy" in everyday conversation

When shopping at the grocery store, you ask yourself what Alton would buy

You suspect you live on a Hellmouth -- and have started talking seriously about the conspiracy with friends and family members

You're cleaning house and wish Vern, Candace, or Debbie would come transform your living room -- in 7 days or less

You say frack instead of the usual f-bomb. And (here's the sad part) you don't even realize you aren't actually saying the f-bomb.

You go to vote for Sheriff, and find yourself looking for Keith Mars's name on the ballot

You think Jimmy James's classic "Super Karate Monkey Death Car" speech is one of the classic moments in 21st century corporate America

You sing the Jeopardy theme song while waiting for someone to answer an important question

You know 50 different ways to slay a vampire (and have a witty quip ready to use for each one)

You've had serious debates with friends, family and coworkers about whether Ross and Rachel were actually "on a break."

When facing a computer malfunction, you wonder what Chloe, Mac or Willow would do

You encounter a roadblock when driving, and are able to recite Amazing Race host Phil Keoghan's definition of a Roadblock ("a choice between two tasks, each with its own pros and cons")

You know all the words to Bill McNeil's Rocket Fuel Malt Liquor ad... ("DAYAM... IT's CRAZZAPPY!") and you can even sing along to Bill's "Real Deal" theme song, to boot